All I said was no


And I wake up,
tasting strawberry lipgloss,
not sure where I am.
Cold fingertips crawl up my skin,
and hot tears run down my face,
mumbling words about
always being second in his life.
I reach out, trying to find stable ground.
Isn’t that what you signed up for?
This is starting to be too much for me,
can’t find my footing,
even the stars are too bright.
How did I end up out here with you?
The taste of his cigarette lingers.
I loved you,
but you were already too far gone.
Suddenly there’s laughter,
I’m missing something.
Why do these messes surround us?
I’m unable to push through,
Something’s broken.
All I said was no.

Katerina Marks
8 January 2015

*Edits made 29 Jan 2015


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